Do You Have An Identity?

If I asked 'Who are you?' what would you say?

If I asked you 'Who are you?' And you are not allowed to talk about your hobbies, name, school, business, position, or allergies.

What would you say?

Think about it for a second

Think.

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I have an amazing friend, brother, and business partner, Ayomide. You see, for over two years, Ayo would wake up early and make a post on WhatsApp at a particular time frame.

Every. Single. Day.

And no, he doesn't automate it, he doesn't have an active assistant or an AI agent that fills in for him.

He simply makes that post every single day. I have been nothing short of inspired by this act.

There was a time his phone was faulty, but he still found a way to post. No excuses. It was already a part of him.

Back to my question above, have you thought of what you'd describe yourself as?

You see, we mainly think of ourselves in terms of these external associations. See an example:

My name is Kate and I love ice cream and fruit juice. When I'm not gaming, I'm watching movies or doing deep research about nature. I love to go sightseeing and to explore new things.

What do you think? Nice huh

Well, let's take all that beautiful description about kate and trash it in the bin. Yes that's right, squeeze the paper and trash it.

'Cause none of that tells us anything about Kate. When you remove these external associations — the ice-cream, games, sightseeing...— you'd realise you know absolutely nothing about Kate.

There's a particular part of the Bible I love so much. It's in Acts 11:26; that was where the disciples were first called Christians.

When he found him, he brought him back to Antioch. Both of them stayed there with the church for a full year, teaching large crowds of people. (It was at Antioch that the believers were first called Christians.)

That's an identity.

And no, they didn't walk up to the woman in the kiosk or the carpenter to say: 'Hey, my name is Barnabas, I am an apostle of Jesus and I am a part of the original 12. I blah blah blah'

Nahh, he didn't.

The people simply looked at them, observed, and said nahhh these guys must be Christians (imitators of Christ).

They saw something much deeper than an introduction or external associations, they saw an identity.

Even the Lord Jesus kept it sweetly when the disciples were nagging and confessing how they can't bare to see Him go. He said

"Henceforth, we know no man after the flesh"

That's to say, it's not these external associations that makes up the core of our identity. It's something much deeper. It's Principles.

Do you remember our description of Kate? You can scroll up just to refresh your mind on it. Done? Perfect

Now compare Kate's description to David's.

'I'm a committed early morning person who gets up before the day breaks. I spot opportunities and go after it with everything I've got and when it comes to loved ones, I put their needs above mine and would readily compromise..."

Now make a mental comparison. Do you or do you not know David better? That's what I thought.

You know, I once saw the question about introducing yourself without those external associates somewhere and when I tried it, I failed woefully.

I just didn't get it. I'd fall back to those external associates for help, to define me and give me an identity.

Manner maketh man

This motto by William of Wykeham, was used in one of the MIB (Men in black) franchise (great movie by the way). I believe it encapsulates the core of this article

Okay, I know what you might be thinking, or perhaps this question might cross your mind

“What if I have principles but sometimes don't follow them or stick to them?”

Well, that doesn't mean you still aren't that person. If my friend, Ayo, skips posting a day, it doesn't mean he isn't that man that wakes up early enough to post at a specific timeframe.

It simply means he's that man but he’s acting outside of who he is. So, he needs to realign himself back to his original nature.

Do you get it?

For these principles to become an identity, you have to reinforce them deeper, over and over again till they become internalized and you just naturally flow with them.

It's not a flip switch action. It's hard work. The more you follow those set of principles you have, the more you reinforce that identity.

If one of your principles is to wake up early. Waking up early consistently reinforces that identity for you, it internalizes it.

I like to call it casting lots for who you are.

If one of your principles is being tidy. Making your bed consistently each time you get up or find it rumpled reinforces that identity.

Such that you aren't someone who makes his bed, you're someone who is a tidy person.

Do you get the gist? The first is someone who performs the action, the second is someone who is the result. In essence he has become the action.

Ironically, I'm currently making my bed.

So being disciplined (result) can be your principle but you have to perform more of discipline-oriented actions to reinforce that belief, so it becomes an identity.

Stephen Covey explained that while people blame the lack of discipline as being the reason for their poor time and life management, that's not always the case.

He believes that the basic problem is that their priorities (principles) have not become deeply planted in their hearts and minds.

Amazingly the Bible said Abraham searched for a city which had foundations.

A deeper study reveals that foundations there means principles for living.

Remember, manner maketh man.

And everyday with what you do, you're choosing who you are, you're reinforcing an identity.

The best part? You can choose who you are and reinforce the beliefs and actions consistent with that person.

So, I ask again, who are you?

Lore.

Your buddy in productivity